Awkward relatives

We used to call him Uncle AD. I believe he has lost his right to that title so I now just call him AD. He is one of those kinds of Nigerian Uncles whose relationship no one can actually describe. The family tree just can never branch that far.

He used to come to our house when our parents were still alive. I know of many situations that my dad put off getting us something to make sure AD had whatever it was he wanted. My dad was a selfless and generous guy and it’s not because he is my dad, everyone says so.

No, this is not a sad story.  It’s not a narrative of how much we suffered when our parents died. Yes we did face challenges when our folks died but we fared well. As a matter of fact we fared better than most.

Father was an ace business man. In the early 90’s when the Naira had good value, he was one of those upper middle class dudes that were always liquid. He took us along on business appointments. As if he knew he was going to depart early.

Mom died a good 5 years before he did. It was just we and him in his last days, of course with the likes of Uncle AD who were always around with tales of one challenge or the other and one request for finances or the other. Like I said, he was a generous fellow.

Anyways, father fell terribly ill and we spent a lot of money to ensure his recovery. All his numerous friends came over, bringing whatever aid they could afford. He struggled to live, we gave him the best care and support we could but he died.

We performed all the rites and ceremonies of the funeral and burial and moved on as much as we could without either parent. It wasn’t an easy life but we survived. My elder brother just finished service and I was writing my final examinations. I did well and was posted faraway for youth service. I redeployed.

We did what was left of raising our younger ones. They handled the reality very well. Daddy’s friends stood by us as much as they could and God was on our side. The lines fell pretty well for us.

We traveled home to our father’s house for a family member’s wedding when I saw some school aged girls. I assumed that they came with one of my cousins. Some months later, we traveled for a private family event in the village and lo, the same school girls.

I called Kobo the caretaker of the property and accused him of shady acts. I asked who they were and got the shock of my life. They were AD’s children. He brought them one evening and introduced himself as Father’s cousin! The first thing I said was “Did AD even hear that Father died?” That was over 3 years ago.

I was really shocked. AD showed up last before the old man fell ill. He lived in the same town as us then and never even showed up to even pretend to care. He never even as much as called to find out how we were doing after the old man passed on. Funny that his kids are in higher Institution in the same town and he remembers that his distant relative has a house and keeping his kids there would cut the accommodation costs for his children and so he sneaks them in and disappears.

I blurted it out to my wife that day (the worst mistake ever). My wife is normally very mature and well behaved. She has been behaving like a wounded lion since. She even called her family to inform them of a distant relative trying to take over her husband’s father’s house!

Her family is literally preparing for war. I had to diffuse all the tension.

I can’t wait for the academic session to be over so these girls can return to their father and my ears can rest from proverbs about how selfish and shameless are. Yes, my wife is wise beyond her years, but she is so dramatic.

I cannot imagine how selfish and shameless AD has proven to be. I know this is not a sensational story but I had to share it. Father’s memorial is 17 years in two weeks and AD has not even bothered to call to find out how those he left behind have fared but is still looking for cheap cuts…

All that was required from AD was just a call, a show of affection, some sort of acknowledgement, some post humus respect for a man who sacrificed so much to make him happy and comfortable but even that I have realized is too much to ask from such a selfish mind. Old habits really die hard.