Harrowing family ties III

My mother in-law is the sweetest possible human being on earth.  My then fiance rolled her out as the ice breaker when he asked me to marry him and I was taking my time to say yes. She is the definition of motherhood. She is sophisticated, she nurtures, she teaches, she loves, she cares.

After I spent a little time with her, I said YES to Abu. He was over the moon with excitement. Everyday has been a dream. Our wedding was posh and dreamy. Our honeymoon was just ‘out of this world’. To love and to hold till death do us part, and so it has been.

So it was till his elder sister showed up. She was married to some guy in Togo and could not come for the wedding because the husband man was sick. I heard that he died five months back, I even called to relay my condolences. She seemed like a normal person. Till she decided to relocate to Nigeria.

She chose no town to move to but ours and chose no street but ours to get a house. I smelt the trouble but I just decided to be the charming and polished wife I was meant to be. Little did I know I was being thrown back into the per-colonial era.

The first time she came to the house, my husband almost killed himself and me getting the place ready for her. I cooked up a storm. Culinary feats are just up my alley so I ‘knocked myself out’. There were all types of food. I divided the meal into traditional and oriental cuisines.  I was proud of myself.

She came home and we uhhed and ahhed about each other. It was a jolly reunion. It was obvious she loved and dotted on her younger brother, there was a good fifteen year gap between them, they were the only two their parents had and I understood. I noticed that in all her conversation, she did not as much as throw a word in my direction and if I tried to chip in anything she would just ignore it.

Dinner time came and I arrayed the table in all the glory. I killed it. I waited and waited for commendation but none came. After the meal she said something about waste and excesses and another about teaching me how to cook their traditional food. I almost gagged on the glass of wine. I saw my husband laughing in agreement.

That was just the beginning.  My husband’s sister became a regular in the house. She would resume in the morning and close in the night, when we were ready to retire. She took up kitchen duty. My daughter and I were just like furniture to her, she would just comment on us on appearing and never as much as give us a second glance. It was painful.

It was even more painful because my husband did not even notice anything was amiss. His sister would prepare meals even after I did and he would ask for hers and eat hers. There was nothing like quality family time as I realized that he preferred his sisters company and they would sit and gist for hours unending.

One day, I called my mother in-law and narrated my woes to her. She was sweet and understanding. She told me that yes, she knew her daughter could be overbearing but she always had the best intentions. I crossed my fingers and waited for the best intentions to play out.

She brought in  an unbelievable beautiful lady to our house one day, she said her mother was her friend back in Togo and she needed a place to stay. My husband agreed but I vehemently refused. Of course I know that is how stories that touch the heart start. I advised her to accommodate the girl in her own house. I told her it was a taboo where I come from. She yielded when I said the word taboo.

The last straw that broke the camel’s back happened one fateful day, I saw my sister in-law hanging guards and calabashes in doorways. I asked what she was doing, she said it was to ward off evil spirits. I warned her in no friendly words and had her remove the gourds.

She removed the gourds and quietly left. I had ‘a talk’ with my husband, it was the first real fight we ever had since we got married. I let out all the pent up anger and frustration and his eyes seemed to open. He apologized and said he would talk with his sister.

I came home from the market this evening to cook for my family, only to find dear sister in-law in the kitchen cooking. She calmly told me that my husband apologized to her on my behalf and she would forget the past if I did.

I walked out to confront my husband and a most shocking sight met my eyes. The gourds and calabashes were back in place, over every door, even my matrimonial bedroom. My husband was in the sitting room watching the television and even over the din I could hear them discussing. He from the sitting room, and she from the kitchen.

I know that this is a battle I would never win, I am counting my losses. What do I do?

Credits; Ojonugwa Sapphire Abu

photo;   destinyconnect.com