Society killed my soul sister

I was born on the same day that Bobbi Kristina Brown was born, March 4, 1993 and I followed her life closely. She was born to one of the most loved and famous women on earth, me to nobody.  Yes, nobody it is. My mother was just a sixteen year old girl and my father, no one knows.

My mother dumped me with her own mother and left the village when I was six months old and never looked back. I grew up with resentment for both of them, Mother and Grandma.

Grandma saw me as a chance at redemption. She loved me unconditionally. She had my mother at 20 as she was said to have married ‘late’. She had a granddaughter/second child at 36. She would doll me up and show me off, she was so protective of me that I felt stalked.

I did all the right things simply because my Grandma was always watching, till I knew no other way to behave. Then I started to love her too. I remember one time I went to pee and saw myself dying, I screamed and she came running. She saw the blood and danced a jig. She went on to explain to me that I just became listed in the league of women and launched into a sexual education series.

My grandma was always the first parent at PTA (Parent-Teachers Association) meetings. She was PTA Chairman by the time I left both Primary and Secondary School. She had too much time for me. I digress.

She was a Whitney Houston fan. She had all of Whitney’s albums in the house, in the car everywhere. We would sing along track after track. I guess I was a fan too but I was more interested in the daughter, the cute girl with the wide gap tooth. She seemed to have it all. She did have it all, a superstar dad, a superstar mom, all the money and fame in the world, so many important people dotting on her.

I used to collect pictures of her. Backstage with her Grandma just like me, front row seats with her Grandma, on stage with Whitney getting hugged in front of a million people, her life was a dream.

Then Whitney died. I mourned with my Grandma. We both wore black for a whole week. We were devastated. Grandpa was pissed off and left the house for us. Grandma and I bore him no attention, he did not understand.

Then things spiraled out of control. Bobbi Kristina got engaged to her brother, her mother’s adopted son and took to drugs. I was shocked. My soul sister seemed to be getting it wrong. I read that she was found in a bathtub doped and gone. I prayed for her day and night.

Yesterday she died. I am devastated. Grandma called to console me. I am writing my Professional Examinations, I am an Accountant and I sing on the side like my soul sister. Grandma is coming to spend the next two weeks with me. My fiancé doesn’t understand that I just lost my twin sister but Grandma does. Grandpa called to scold me to get my head out of my anus. He actually said that to me, his only real daughter. Hmmm.

I blame everyone except Bobbi. I blame her father. I blame him for leaving, for not fighting whatever demons there were he was facing. I blame her mother, yes I blame Whitney the most. For chasing after everything except her daughter’s future, for exposing her to all the evils that finally consumed her. I even blame her Grandma, for not owning up and forcefully adopting her. I blame the society. I blame America for legalizing all kinds of ills, for exposing children to the things that consumed my soul sister.

I hope in her vegetative state she found God. I pray that her soul finds the peace and acceptance she didn’t get in this world. I cannot wait for my own Grandma, my own close confidant, my partner in this craze and many more. She would understand how blue I feel. I know she is dressed in black as I am.